Aye Neek #2 - Not good enough

Aye Neek,
I work in business administration and my boss is super critical about every little thing. You never know what mood he’s going to be in. One minute he’s praising you and the next minute he’s screaming. His criticism keeps me from suggesting helpful new ideas and being my best. I spend most days scared on pins and needles. What do you suggest?

Signed,

Not Good Enough in Northridge



Dear Not Good,
The only thing “not good” is your fear to shine. Bosses are erratic. It just happens that way… I’ve found that some bosses criticize because they want to push you to do better. Some are afraid to acknowledge that you just may be as good at their position as they are. No matter what their hang ups are, don’t let the dark cloud that hangs over them, dictate your luster.


Share those ideas, mainly in a group, so that others notice your abilities as well. Accept and pocket the compliments from him and take his criticism with a grain of salt. If you can grow from it, do. But if not, put it in your outbox and move on. However, if the criticism continues and you feel as though you can’t blossom fully, there are tons of great companies that would LOVE to benefit from your abilities. Even in a recession.


And if all else fails, you ever think about entrepreneurship? Own yourself.


XOXO


~neek

Aye Neek # 1 - So over it

Aye Neek,

I am so over it. I am a 27 year old woman with no kids and I have just realized that I have given a complete loser the past 3 years of my life. During our relationship, my 30 year old boyfriend belittled me in front of other people, nitpicked at every little thing that I did, laughed at me and called me a fatty. I am 5’6” and weigh 145 pounds.

The last straw was on Valentine’s Day. We went out on a double date with our best friends who also date. When the time came for us to exchange gifts, I opened my bag only to find a can of Slim Fast, a Pussycat Dolls Exercise DVD, and a card that said, “Cuz I love you.” I walked out and left him at the restaurant and had his best friend bring him home and haven’t called him or answered his calls yet.

I don’t know what to do. Should I give him another chance? He says that he’s sorry and I know that he had a rough childhood and uses this as a defense. He calls, emails and texts me all day.

Signed,

So Over It in So. Cal.



Dear So over it,

The biggest mistake that anyone can make is to second guess their first mind.

Come on! 5’ 6” – 145 lbs?? I know people who would kill for that! But the issue is not your physical. It’s your mental. The appreciation of self needs to manifest so that you can attract the person meant for you. You said in three years, he belittled you, laughs at you, and degrades you in front of others. That’s not healthy. And the fact that he had a rough childhood does not mean he can make your adult life a living hell. If you want to teach him anything about his “rough childhood”, you need to show him that he cannot go through his adult life treating people the same way and expect them to stay around.

So, my advice? Be over it.

Peace and blessings,
~neek